Ambitious But Rubbish

Why do rough drafts make me cringe so so much? Even as I'm writing my brain is going "Oh, God you didn't just write that...or that...what's wrong with you???"  But I mostly just need to get it all out on paper and in front of my eyes no matter how offensive it is to my inner critic. Once I've properly gagged my critic with a cookie, or wine, or whatever the restraint of choice happens to be I can generally just focus on getting words and concepts out. 

I'm also noticing that physically writing out the draft on a notebook or a legal pad with a pen really helps me feel accomplished and I get a ton more writing done that way than if I simply try to type it up on the computer first shot. Maybe it's something about my messy handwriting and the unfinished quality that it has on the paper that makes me more okay with the fact that very often it's absolute crap (even if the crap is productive and leads to something more...acceptable). The computer tends to give me that "I'm finished and polished" feel of a third or final draft. Hmmmm.

 The discovery of personal style and preferences for a writer is a lot like a superhero becoming acclimated to the after effects of their gamma ray exposure, or crazy science experiment that made them into the unique freak they are. I fought against my desire to write rough drafts in notebooks for YEARS but deep down the writer in me just kept gravitating  towards those stupid loose leaf notebooks and before I knew I was surrounded by hundreds  of half used ones. Now that I'm older and...less resistant to what comes naturally to me, I've begun to embrace it more and as a result have had greater success. 

Speaking of freaks, I am totally smitten (or should I say "Sherlocked") with the new BBC series Sherlock. Season Two just came out and it is a-mazing. Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Mark Gatiss, all other writers and creative persons involved...I salute you.